I think I'm going to finally put forth the proper effort into life and everything that goes with it. I posted about this on my tiktok/insta, but I wanted to give this a proper info dump as well. It's hard with my ADHD, or whatever I have, to keep up to date on everything that isn't right in front of me. I have a problem with forgetting about many things and tend to also hang back in life. This is the year I am taking to take a step out of the shadows and into the light. I am going to actually strive to become who I want to be in life, even if that means struggling to do so. I'm struggling now anyway, so why not struggle with this?
I love writing, but it also takes an insane amount of brainpower for me to do, and when I get burnt out from it, I get laxed and put it on hold, as I do with most things in my life. This is where I will be admitting what I have done wrong in my life and how I'm going to take my own responsibility for it. I feel like I have wasted the last 10 years of my life. Doing things that benefit others and serve no real purpose to myself at all. I have always put others ahead of my own needs and that stops today. I want to like who I am, and that starts with actually giving a shit about myself. No more standing by, no more standing back. This is the time I will be standing out.
This timid 6'5 man needs to get his shit together. I have so many desires in life and I've put them all on hold. I will lose the weight I gained back, get fit, and start learning to cosplay like I've wanted to for so long. Body dysmorphia will no longer hold me back. I will work hard on my writing, my social media presence, this blog, and everything in my life again. I have had so many people in my life bring me down when I say I'm trying to work on myself or my work like "Are you actually going to do it this time?" "Yeah, okay." "You shouldn't do it like that, you should do it like this." "You really think you can do that?" "I've heard this before." But you know what? Fuck that. I know it's the one thing I have always done in my life, let others sway my thoughts, but no more. My opinion on my own life is going to be law. I'm the only person that I will be beside for my entire life, as I have been for the last 30 years, and I'm going to stop taking that for granted, as should all of you. Good Luck. I'm sure we both could use it this year.